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‘Side by Side by Side Dish’ Category

  1. Down Home Spoon Bread

    May 21, 2011 by Cas

    Dear Merciful God, somebody stop me.

    I’m promising to end my Southern Belle kick IMMEDIATELY, for two reasons:

    (A) I’m now completely obsessed and I have too much unpacking to do to be fucking around in the kitchen; but more importantly,

    (B) Cooking as I do in nothing but an apron, all the butter and flour and salt in these amazing dishes is causing me to hate myself when I walk past a mirror and catch what my ass is looking like sticking out in the back.

    So I COULD wear pants, but I think I’ll move on to small plates and finger foods and salads for a little while.

    But not until I finish eating stuff like this.

    I love corn bread, I love simple, I love starchy and creamy and eggy… this is all those things.

    More of a bready custard, this is real stick-to-yer-ribs grub. It starts on the stove then goes into the oven, and you serve it, if you’re a purist, with a spoon. A true Southerner would gawk at a Yankee trying to slice this like a quiche or a pan bread just the way we’d stare at an ape eating soup with his hands at a high tea. I know folks who prefer it sweet, served hot from the oven with a pat of butter, a drizzle of honey or maple, and a sprinkle of cinnamon. But I think it’s best in its basic form, served as we would above the Mason-Dixon line as a starchy base for a saucier main dish — like noodles with stroganoff or stew, or rice with chili or curries. So even though this is GREAT stand-alone with a bit of butter and some salt and pepper (did I hear someone say “sprinkle of parmesan”? Yeah you, in the back there — I caught that), instead of just a haughtier cousin of the soul-nourishing corn grits, try it instead of biscuits next time you make a saucy dish so good you don’t want to miss a drop.

    3 Large Eggs
    1 tsp. Salt
    3 Cups Milk

    1 Cup Yellow cornmeal

    2 Tbsp. Butter

    1 Tbsp. Baking powder

    Preheat oven to 350°.

    In a mixing bowl, beat the eggs well with the salt. Add 1 Cup of the milk and blend thoroughly; set aside.

    In a medium saucepan, mix remaining 2 Cups of milk with the cornmeal until well blended. Bring to a boil over medium high heat; once boiling, reduce heat to medium and, stirring constantly for another 3 minutes, work mixture into a very thick paste, being sure to scoop down sides and bottom. Remove from heat and add butter, stirring to melt and blend it in thoroughly.

    Add 1/2 of the milk and egg mixture, and blend in thoroughly working out any lumps. Repeat with remaining liquid until smooth and uniform.

    Add baking powder and stir thoroughly, folding in the resulting foam until the mixture is well blended.

    Transfer mixture to a greased casserole (or preferably, because this is home-cookin’, a cast iron or other oven-proof skillet). The fluffy mix will not rise much, so if it fits comfortably at this stage, you’re safe from puffy, drippy messes.

    Bake on rack in the middle of the oven for 30 minutes, or until the edges are browning and the top is showing signs of turning golden brown in spots. Remove from oven, and let cool.

    Yes it will deflate a bit. Yes it will be delicious anyway. And yes you will find a  million reasons to make this, from brunch to lunch to dinner to whythefuckamIawakeatfourinthemorning.

    Try this with our Stout-Poached Pulled Chicken Barbecue. Or just try it, as the name and the Confederacy demand… with a spoon.

    Category Breads, Rolls & Muffins, Entrees-Vous!, Fresh Baked, G.F. Yourself! Gluten-Free Food Daddy, Side by Side by Side Dish, Vegetarian (or Potentially So) | Tags: ,,,, | No Comments

  2. 30/30 WTF! #30: Sweet Potato Pie Waffle

    March 9, 2011 by Cas

    Bittersweet.

    Not the waffle. The waffle is just sweet sweet. Bittersweet is our final — the 30th of 30 — 30 Waffles in 30 Days recipe.

    This one is inspired by the fact that I have this can of yams in my cupboard that seems to be in the way every time I go for the cereal or almond butter. It’s like a clown doll in the closet: every time you turn around, it’s there, and it’s staring at you, and no matter where you move it to so you can avoid unnecessary encounters, it seems to move right back to where it wants to be the moment your back is turned. So I guess this recipe owes equal credit to the can of yams and the movie “Poltergeist”…

    Funny thing is, I made this from fresh sweet potato, because as much as I mock and deride, I actually prepare yams often enough that I like having that can on hand for when my family and friends say, “we know it’s April but we really want Thanksgiving dinner tonight.” So I feel I should always be prepared to accommodate request such as this, as well the frequent and proverbial wild hare up my ass to make sweet potato muffins, pancakes, or biscuits (which I promise we will cover in cocktail foods soon, because if you’ve never had them, sweet potato biscuits with sugar-baked ham are reason enough to throw a party).

    About the mashed sweet potato: either open your clown can, mash them up, and use as directed. Or cut a medium sweet potato (don’t bother to peel it), into chunks, cover with water in a saucepan, and boil for 10-15 minutes until tender. Remove from heat, let cool in the pot and the water, and when cool enough to handle simply pull the skins off, place in a bowl, and mash by hand with a fork or masher, or with a hand blender.

    Oh, and for the record, I really fucking love clowns.

    Waffle Iron Setting/Cook Time: MEDIUM HIGH

    1/2 Cup mashed sweet potato (THE RECIPE CALLS FOR 1 CUP TOTAL)
    1 Egg
    1/2 Cup milk

    1 Cup Bisquick
    1/4 Cup brown sugar
    1/2 tsp. Pumpkin pie spice (or an equal amount of ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and or clove, to taste)
    1/4 tsp. Salt

    2 Tbsp. flour
    1/4 Cup brown sugar
    1/4 tsp. Salt
    1/2 tsp. Cinnamon
    1 Tbsp. butter

    1/2 Cup  mashed sweet potato (yes, the OTHER half of the full cup)
    1/2 Cup brown sugar
    1 Tbsp. Butter
    Dash of salt

    Marshmallow Fluff, for garnish.

    Combine 1/2 Cup of sweet potato, egg and milk. In a separate bowl, mix the baking mix, brown sugar, salt and spice to combine; add wet ingredients and stir until mixed well. Set batter aside.

    In a separate bowl, combine flour, sugar, salt, cinnamon and butter until crumbly. Pack firmly, and transfer to a small hot skillet or sautee pan over medium heat. Pan-bake the crumb topping until it loosens and starts crisping, breaking into crumbs as you go. Remove from heat and transfer to a small bowl or plate to cool.

    To make sweet potato jam, place remaining sweet potato, brown sugar, butter and salt in skillet, and cook, stirring frequently, until mixture boils. Cook one additional minute stirring constantly, and remove from heat.

    Grease waffle iron with nonstick cooking spray and spoon waffle batter onto griddle, leaving room for spread. Cook to golden brown, and remove to individual serving plates.

    Spread each waffle with Marshmallow Fluff (or see garnish note, below); spoon sweet potato jam over marshmallow, and sprinkle generously with crumb topping.

    As an alternate to the fluff, you can top the waffle with miniature marshmallows and microwave to melt slightly; or if the jam is still piping hot, you can spoon it generously right over the minis and let it do the little bit it can do to help them melt.

    High Altitude Directions: Follow recipe as written, but don’t look down or you may get dizzy.
    Dan Quayle Directions: Follow recipe as written, adding an “e” to the end of every reference to “potato”.

    Category 30/30 WTF!, Side by Side by Side Dish, Vegetarian (or Potentially So) | Tags: ,,,,,, | 2 Comments

  3. 30/30 WTF! #27: Matzo Brei Waffle

    March 6, 2011 by Cas

    I bet a great many of you are truly asking, “WTF?” over this one.

    This is another of my retooled faves from the “Pizza Bagel” files: an Italian Boy making traditional comfort food in the Jewish tradition.

    I cannot credit this one to my kids or my Baby Mama, the beautiful Ms. R. who allowed me to absorb a lovely family culture from her side of our association over the ten years we spent together.

    No, this one goes back to my gorgeous, talented, warm and smart and inner-light bearing friend, Synthia. Literally the only thing I don’t like about Syn is the fact that she lives on the opposite side of the country and if I get to see her once a year it’s a lot. I have been in deep spiritual love with this woman since our sophomore year of High School. Which is when she first taught me the wonders of Matzo Brei.

    Synthia was, in my world, the Amy Irving character of “Izzy” from “Crossing Delancey.” She was (and remains) a goddess to behold, with such a sweet and giving spirit that she was nothing short of captivating. And she even lived (sort of) on the Lower East Side like Izzy, and came from a very traditional Jewish family.

    OK. Back in your pants, weasel. Moving on.

    Syn taught me her family’s way of making matzo brei — a very simple combo of crumbled matzo and egg — noting the addition of a dash of seltzer, like her father always did.

    My first go ’rounds were in pancake form, flattening it and sticking it together in the frying pan. Later I started “scrambling” it. I was always made to think of it as a sweet breakfast, like a regular pancake or waffle, so I ate it either with powdered sugar, cinnamon sugar, or my usual, maple syrup.

    At a recent brunch at a midtown Jewish deli (the sit down with a nasty waitress or old old man waiter kind, famous and worth the trip) the staff looked at me like I was ordering grape jelly for my nova lox. To a lot of people, matzo brei is savory, like an omelette, and salt and pepper or sometimes (egads) ketchup are in order.

    Since I don’t know which way YOU prefer matzo brei (and bonus points if you guessed I couldn’t give a fuck, either), and a great many of you won’t have a preference because you’ve never tasted (or heard of) such a thing, I offer here a Food Daddy Twofer: one recipe, slightly adjustable, for both.

    This will make four waffles. Ish.

    Ess ess, meine kinder!

    Waffle Iron Setting/Cook Time: HIGH

    4 Matzo
    4 Eggs
    1/8 tsp. Salt
    2 Tbsp. Water

    Crush matzo in a mixing bowl. They should be in bits somewhere in size between a Tic Tac and a Chiclet. Oh my God, remember Chiclets? And what about Dentyne? Do they even MAKE that stuff any more?

    Lightly beat the egg, the water and the salt. Pour over crushed matzo and toss vigorously to coat. Let sit 10 minutes.

    FOR SWEET: add 1/4 C sugar.
    FOR SAVORY: fry 1 C chopped white onion in 2 Tbsp. of butter over medium high heat until browned and tender. Add salt and pepper to taste.

    Mix your sweet OR savory add-in to the matzo brei mixture. Grease the waffle iron with nonstick cooking spray, mound batter in each of the wells or wedges and spread slightly toward edges, and close to cook to golden brown.

    Move waffles to serving dish (or dishes if you decide as you should to make both), and serve with the following toppings:

    Cinnamon sugar, maple syrup or jam or preserves for the sweet; Sour cream, or more butter.

    Category 30/30 WTF!, Side by Side by Side Dish, Vegetarian (or Potentially So) | Tags: ,,,,, | No Comments

  4. 30/30 WTF! #22: STUFFED PIZZA WAFFLE

    March 1, 2011 by Cas

    These work best using the yeast batter, but again, you can use a substitute of 2 Cups Bisquick, 3/4 Cups water, and 1/2 tsp. salt.

    I find these best when cut into triangles and served warm, but not hot, giving the ingredients a chance to set in the center. And so you don’t scald your mouth when diving into them.

    I’m also giving you a variety of options here, to adress the fact that if we went out for actual pizza, none of us would order the same slice given a variety of choices. Get imaginative, but don’t overstuff.

    2 Cups Batter
    1/4 Cup Bisquick
    1/2 tsp. Salt

    1 Cup prepared pizza sauce (or, if you’re like me, your own homemade)
    1 Cup shredded mozzarella (or sliced fresh, or sliced mild provolone or fontina)

    OPTIONS:
    Sliced Pepperoni
    Sliced Ham
    Thinly sliced Tomato
    Whole fresh Basil leaves
    Waffle Iron Setting/Cook Time: MEDIUM (and, admittedly, to be largely ignored)

    Mix Yeast Batter or Bisquick Batter with additional Bisquick and salt.

    Grease waffle iron with nonstick cooking spray.

    Spoon just enough batter onto waffle iron so you can spread it evenly with the back of a spoon or with a silicon spatula to fill the recesses but just barely the tops of the dimples. Close iron and let this bottom layer go through one medium cook cycle. Open to check for doneness; batter should just be set, with no more wet spots.

    Spoon sauce over waffles, leaving about a 1/2 to 3/4″ border from the edges of the individual waffles or wedges. Add cheese and optional fillings, then top with another spoon of batter, smoothing it to the edges and sealing in the filling. Spray top iron again, and close to finish cooking.

    Check for doneness. When waffles are golden brown, leave the iron open for a minute to let them steam off, then carefully remove to a plate to cool.

    Cut into wedges if desired, and serve with additional sauce, shredded or grated parmesan, and if you’re from Brooklyn, it’s customary to have shakers of dried oregano, red pepper flakes and garlic powder on hand.

    Ayyyy, ohhhhhh… dat’s what ah’m tawkin’ ’bout, yo.

    Category 30/30 WTF!, Cocktail Party, Finger Foods, Side by Side by Side Dish, Vegetarian (or Potentially So) | Tags: ,,,,,, | 2 Comments

  5. 30/30 WTF! #16: PIGS IN BLANKET WAFFLES

    February 23, 2011 by Cas

    That sort of sounds judgmental, calling them “pigs”, and rather banal, that whole “in blankets” thing.

    Better to go the French route, and call them “cochons en croute”, perhaps. Or gay it up and call them “Caftan Piggies”. Or let’s get PC about it and call them “Porcine Americans Just Trying to Stay Warm” (but we’ll leave off the part about how we help them in their quest by wrapping them in dough and then baking them to death).

    Whatever YOU choose to call them, I never found making PiBs a real chore, but someone suggested I try this as a waffle and it’s indeed quicker and weirder than the way you’re used to doing it.

    1-1/2 Cups Bisquick
    1/2 Cup Water
    2 Tbsp. yellow mustard
    2 Tbsp. vegetable oil
    2 Hot dogs

    Waffle Iron Setting/Cook Time: Medium

    Mix all ingredients but the hot dogs. I’m chuckling picturing the mess we’d make if the whole dogs went right into the batter.

    Slice each hot dog in half, then slice each half in half again, LENGTHWISE, and cut each of those halves again lengthwise, resulting in eight long slices of dog. Or pig. Jeeze, it’s like a fucking zoo in this kitchen. If you’re daring or love a proliferation of animals while you’re trying to cook, slice them in half lengthwise again producing 16 pigs. I wonder if cloning Dolly the sheep was this satisfying.

    Grease waffle iron with nonstick cooking spray. Spoon batter onto griddle, leaving room for spread around edges. Press hot dog slices down into each waffle section or wedge, and close to cook.

    Remove to serving platter, and serve with a side of mustard for dipping (your preference; mine is dijon). Or mix equal parts creamy dijon and mayonnaise. Or do both. Anyone who asks for ketchup should immediately be shown the door. If you’re serving a crowd and there are other finger foods to be had, cut wedges in half if making Belgians, or cut square waffles in half. And if you want, in half again. Oh, fuck it with this “halve it again and again and again” torture I’m putting you through. You’ll know how big you want them when you see them.They’re just fine as is; but, like all the really good little piggies I know personally…

    They’re completely versatile.

    Category 30/30 WTF!, Cocktail Party, Finger Foods, Side by Side by Side Dish | Tags: ,,,,,, | 4 Comments

  6. 30/30 WTF! #12: MAC-N-CHEESE WAFFLE

    February 19, 2011 by Cas

    Mmmmmm… Macaroni & Cheese. An American staple.

    Kids and adults alike have  a soft spot in our hearts for this classic comfort food. Here I’ve kept it very simple with just the addition of some egg for firmness and ease of removing and serving within the whole waffle iron mindset. This gives it a texture more akin to the traditional baked-in-casserole variety of mac-n-cheese than a straight-from-the-saucepan creaminess; but if it was saucy like the latter it would be a runny mess. Heck, if that wasn’t a concern I could write recipes for pudding and lattes and I could just let you pour them straight from the iron into your mouths.

    That wouldn’t be very nice of me, would it?

    You can also add chopped cooked chicken or ham, crumbled bacon, or diced tomato to this — some of the things I most frequently add to homemade macaroni and cheese. But I’ve left it here for the purists and invite the more adventurous spirits to branch out as they see fit.

    A note about the boxed mac and cheese: pick your favorite. There are so many on the shelf these days its mind-numbing. But use one that has small macaroni so that it will fill the cavities of the waffle iron nicely. I used Kraft mini shells with three cheeses. Basically, from a box, they all TASTE the same; you just want them to work in your favor so (and I don’t believe I’m saying this) you really want to opt for a small noodle.

    1 Box Macaroni & Cheese, prepared
    1/2 Cup shredded cheddar cheese
    1 Egg
    1/2 Tbsp. Flour
    1 Tbsp. Water
    Salt & Pepper to taste

    2 Tbsp. corn flake crumbs OR crushed potato chips

    Waffle Iron Setting/Cook Time: MEDIUM HIGH

    Let prepared macaroni and cheese cool a bit so that additional ingredients won’t be cooked on contact.

    Add shredded cheese and egg. Mix flour and water and add to macaroni mix, along with salt and pepper to taste. Mix until thoroughly combined.

    Grease waffle iron with nonstick cooking spray or melted butter. Spoon mac and cheese mixture over griddle, leaving a bit of room at edges for it to spread. Sprinkle crumbs or chips over top. Cover and cook until golden brown. Allow waffles to sit for a minute until firm enough to handle. Loosen edges and transfer to serving plate.

    These are great hot off the griddle or cooled to room temperature and eaten by hand.

    Category 30/30 WTF!, Cocktail Party, Finger Foods, Side by Side by Side Dish, Vegetarian (or Potentially So) | Tags: ,,,,,, | No Comments

  7. 30/30 WTF! #10: LOADED HASH BROWN WAFFLE

    February 17, 2011 by Cas

    LOADED HASH BROWN WAFFLE (prepared and photographed by FDFoodie Kate A. Stutzel of Astoria, NY)

    My Baby Mama was Jewish.

    And I spent a decade surrounded by all the delightful foods one thinks of around the holidays and in general. Yes, I’m thinking: at one point we will even try a matzoh brei waffle. How could one go wrong with that?

    One of my favorite things, for Hanukkah, was always the potato pancake. But since her family wasn’t really a cooking family so much as an eating family, the Italian boy got to do most of the latke frying.

    Hash browns are amazing. It’s potato, so it’s 90% in my favor just coming out of the ground. And it’s potato that’s FRIED, so there’s the other 10%. But if you’re like my family and you enjoy a “Loaded Hash Brown” at a big breakfast, there’s all sorts of other stuff tossed in there: cheese, meats, sometimes chopped onions or peppers. Now we’re talking like TWO HUNDRED PERCENT lovable.

    LOADED HASH BROWN WAFFLE (prepared and photographed by FDFoodie Kate Stutzel, Astoria, NY)

    So latkes and hash browns. Let’s mix the two.


    The problem with trying to make a hash brown on the waffle iron is the same one I’ve encountered with some other foodstuffs, like the sugar cookie dilemma: the body of certain ingredients  require they have some time to set up and cool before handling, and at the very least require a uniform, steady “lift” from beneath.

    Have you been following along? By now you know you can get a fork under a waffle edge; you are NOT going to easily slide an entire spatula beneath the dimpled bottom of a waffle, especially when it’s tender and loose-bound and wants to be a pile or a puddle or a lump versus a waffle.

    So here I’ve added, a la the holiday latke, some flour and some egg to the mix. My half-jewish son (my kids call themselves, by virtue of their Italian/Jewish lineage, “Pizza Bagels”) gave this a “thumbs-up” as he happily devoured a wedge. As they cool they firm up rather nicely and, whether eaten by hand or with fork and knife alongside other breakfast foods, these are a tasty way to get your USRDA of potato. And cheese. And more.

    1 White potato, grated
    2 Cups shredded cheddar
    1 Cup diced ham (optional)
    2 Tbsp. flour
    1 tsp. Onion powder
    1 tsp. Dried parsley
    1/2 tsp. Salt
    1/4 tsp. black pepper
    1 Large Egg

    Waffle Iron Setting/Cook Time: HIGH

    Bring a saucepan of water to a boil. Add grated potato and blanche, 2 minutes. Drain, and transfer to mixing bowl.

    Add all other ingredients and mix thoroughly.

    Grease waffle iron with nonstick cooking spray. Spread potato batter over griddle, leaving a little room at edges for expansion. Cover and cook until deep golden brown and crispy.

    Allow waffles to sit in open iron for a minute until firm enough to handle and remove without breaking. Transfer to plate and serve.

    Category 30/30 WTF!, Side by Side by Side Dish, Vegetarian (or Potentially So) | Tags: ,,,,,, | 19 Comments

  8. 30/30 WTF! #9: SAUSAGE BISCUITS ‘N GRAVY

    February 16, 2011 by Cas

    I have always loved country cooking. It’s usually so unhealthy that just listening to a description of the food produces two automatic responses: hardening of the arteries and uncontrollable salivation.

    Nothing beats good biscuits. Nothing beats good gravy. Thus, nothing beats both of them together. And now they’re a waffle.

    1/4 lb. Raw loose sausage (breakfast or link)

    2 Tbsp. flour
    1 Cup milk
    Salt and pepper (to taste)

    1 Cup Bisquick
    1/2 Cup milk
    1 Tbsp. vegetable oil
    1/4 tsp. Dried sage, powdered or, if whole-leaf, rubbed
    1/8 tsp. Crushed red pepper flakes (or more to taste)
    1 tsp. Parsley

    Waffle Iron/Cook Time: MEDIUM

    Fry up the sausage. I used the big 1 lb. meat tube from the breakfast meat section. I know. You didn’t realize I even knew such a thing or place existed. I do. I just don’t live in it. You can also use the fresh uncooked throw-em-on-the-grill links from the meat section or butcher. Just squeeze the meat out of the casing and into the pan and fry it. Stop asking questions. When it’s browned and crumbly, remove the sausage crumbles to a small bowl and set aside, leaving the grease and some of the “fryer leavin’s” behind.

    To the sausage grease (I know: just saying that hurts my heart but whatever) add the flour and stir to mix. Heat until the flour just cooks off a bit (a necessary step I’ve not really brought to light in prior recipes, but whenever making a white or beshamel sauce, anything roux-based, you just want to “toast” away the raw taste of the flour). Once it starts sizzling add the milk and stir constantly as you bring it to a boil. When it’s thick, take it off the heat and whisk in salt and pepper to taste. Set the sauce aside.

    Mix all the remaining ingredients thoroughly forming a loose biscuit doughy batter. Fold in the crumbled sausage. Now we’re cookin’.

    Spray or butter your waffle iron. Spread the biscuit batter over the griddle, close and cook. I like these on the light golden side, like a good home-baked buttermilk biscuit. These will be nice and firm but tender and airy inside. Really a nice biscuit here.

    Remove to individual serving dishes and cover with a healthy helping of the sausage gravy.

    This is real stick-to-your-ribs food, and some scrambled eggs along side it (or better, fried eggs with nice runny yolks to mix with the whole mess) would make this a perfect breakfast. I mean, with coffee and a xanax too, but that goes without saying.

    Category 30/30 WTF!, Entrees-Vous!, Side by Side by Side Dish | Tags: ,,,,,, | 3 Comments

  9. 30/30 WTF! #4: PESTO MASHED POTATO WAFFLES

    February 11, 2011 by Cas

    These were inspired by a few recent events. First, my sudden realization that there seems to be no way to encounter a mashed potato these days without it having to be a GARLIC mashed potato (that sounds like a complaint, doesn’t it? Well it isn’t. Food Daddy is Italian, and from Brooklyn. Mama rubbed garlic cloves on her nipples before breastfeeding me). It’s great for us, but a lot of pressure on the mashed potato to be the garlickyest around, and I don’t like my food to feel competitive, or unfairly scrutinized. Second, I said “I love garlic but enough with the garlic mashed” one night when pressed to make garlic mashed for a “comfort food” dinner, so I thought I’d shake things up a bit by adding not just plain garlic but actual prepared pesto sauce. Third, I realized while creating the Pesto Mashed Potato dish that one of my favorite side dishes growing up was when my Mom, who not only didn’t really rub garlic on her nipples but didn’t really breast feed me either, would mix cubed swiss cheese into the potatoes, put them in a baking dish covered witha layer of bread crumbs and melted butter, and bake them. Lord in Heaven, if I could give you ONE note about the way you run things down here, you should stop packaging potatoes in those dirty brown skins we just wash and peel off anyway, and start packaging them, straight from the earth, in casserole dishes, and they should come from your bounty already pestoed and cheesed-up with their bready topping already dotted with butter. And if you’d be kind enough in your infinite grace and wisdom to make ovens come preheated at all times to 375, that’d be really omnipotently cool of you as well. The fourth and final event was an out-of-the-blue comment from a total stranger eating mashed potatoes. “God,” he said, which really rather wraps the whole divine-inspiration theme of this tome up nicely, “I wonder if you could put these in a waffle iron and make them crispy…”

    …And there was the mashed potato for its traditional comfort and goodness. And there was pesto, with its savory, cheesy, garlic-heavy goodness. And the spirit of the Lord moved over the kitchen and said, “Let the potatoes meet with the pesto, and may they forever be infused with the rich and gooey addition of mozzarella cheese. And the potato and the pesto and the cheese shall meet upon the plates of the waffle iron and shall forever be sealed together in a crispy outer coating of golden buttery goodness. And the creatures of the land ate of the Pesto Mashed Potato waffles and this pleased the Lord. And there was evening and there was morning. The Eighth Day. And it was good.

    Because I have invoked the Lord’s name in this entry, I will endeavor to refrain from use of F-bombs herein. I sure hope I don’t fuck up. Shit. OK — change “herein” to “hereafter” and I’m fucking golden. Hereafter.

    Waffle iron: on HIGH

    1 Cup milk
    1 Cup water
    2 Tbsp. unsalted butter
    1/2 tsp. salt
    1-1/2 Cups mashed potato flakes (such as Hungry Jack)
    1 Large egg
    1 Cup shredded mozzarella cheese (part skim or whole milk)
    3 Tbsp. prepared pesto sauce (homemade or store bought)

    Bring milk, water, butter and salt to a boil. Turn off heat, add potato flakes, and mix thoroughly until the potatoes are thick and fluffy.

    In a small bowl, beat the egg; add a spoonful of the mashed potatoes, stirring it into the egg until smooth, to temper the egg and keep it from cooking on contact when added to the rest of the potatoes. Did you just learn a trick? Good. Well  now, add it the egg to the rest of the potatoes, and mix until thoroughly incorporated. You will notice them thickening a bit.  Let the potato mixture cool for two minutes, then add the pesto and mix thoroughly; finally add the shredded cheese, and mix just to incorporate consistently.

    Spray waffle iron with cooking spray, or brush with melted butter.

    Divide the batter into two batches. For each batch, spread the potato mixture over the griddle, leaving about 1/4″ expansion room from the edges. If you’re unsure of depth or width or any of the other concerns raised in grade school geometry, press the lid down almost all the way and immediately lift it again. Check your imprint and spread, just to assure yourself you’re doing fine and it really doesn’t matter, because it’s not brain surgery it’s mashed potatoes in a waffle iron.

    Cook a full cycle on high. Open to check for doneness, and as long as the waffles aren’t burnt (individual irons will vary) close and continue to cook. You’re aiming for a deep, dark golden crust that resists piercing by a fork. When they are done (dark, crispy outside, resistant to pushing, opinionated, self assured, nonjudgmental, like every good waffle or teenager should be) let them sit in the open iron for at least a minute to steam off. This will let them set a bit, making them easier to remove and move to a serving plate without ripping them. Cutting the individual serving wedges while they sit won’t hurt this process either.

    The longer they sit in the plate (you don’t want them COLD, but you want them solid) the more set-up they become, and that equals more betterer.

    Did I really just say “more betterer”? What the fuck?

    Ooh… sorry for my mouth, Lord. But thanks for mashed potatoes — now with pesto, and now in waffle form.

    Category 30/30 WTF!, Side by Side by Side Dish, Vegetarian (or Potentially So) | Tags: ,,,,,,,,, | 3 Comments